I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
