Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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