I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I believe in your delicious
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
