Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"