Say something about gay babies.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.