Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving