I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
