I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize