I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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