I wannas sexs uuuuu
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
