Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
