I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I supernannyed him into submission
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize