dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize