It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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