Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
