I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
zippers are such a cool invention
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
