Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
its not stalking. its research.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
