just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
