Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
