Screwed.edu
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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