so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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