So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
