Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
