I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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