I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
