So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
