We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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