i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
