covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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