we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
