I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
