No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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