The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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