I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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