you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
