did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
