with your own penis?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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