Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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