Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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