a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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