So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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