Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize