Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
