so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.