i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood