is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila