im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
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Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.