What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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