At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
