It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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