Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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