So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
