Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
