I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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