Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
