i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
