the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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