she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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