I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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