I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
