I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
