I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
