Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
