Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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