looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
