I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
