He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize