Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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