omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
