i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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