please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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