butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
